View unanswered posts | View active topics  It is currently Sun Mar 15, 2026 6:44 pm


All times are UTC + 10 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Farmy Jokes
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 11:08 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:43 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Perth hills, Western Australia
Nocky, GS - you're both deep philosophers !!

_________________
¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>
.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>

My Websites: http://www.chillies-down-under.com
http://www.bbq-down-under.com


Top
 Profile  
 
    Advertisement
 
 Post subject: Re: Farmy Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:17 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:15 pm
Posts: 293
Location: Narrogin, West Australia (Temperate)
Your Duck is Dead--

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary's examination room. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If
you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

_________________
Cheers
Nocky
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. Doug Larson
My Weather Site, going 12 years +
Nocky's Backyard
My Aquaponics System


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Farmy Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:35 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:43 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Perth hills, Western Australia
Now that, is a clever joke ! :lol:

_________________
¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>
.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>

My Websites: http://www.chillies-down-under.com
http://www.bbq-down-under.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Farmy Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:39 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:15 pm
Posts: 293
Location: Narrogin, West Australia (Temperate)
Julia Gillard was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car.
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur:

'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Julia

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.

'My God, what happened to you?' asks Julia

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.'

'What on earth did you say?' asks Julia

'I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: ' I'm Julia Gillard's chauffeur and I've just killed the old cow.'

_________________
Cheers
Nocky
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. Doug Larson
My Weather Site, going 12 years +
Nocky's Backyard
My Aquaponics System


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

All times are UTC + 10 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group